The Past Will Never Let You Go
by asylums-angel
Summary: Everyone tries to move on and leave their past behind, but what if it doesn't feel like letting go? What if it chases you? What would you do? This is a Ryo and Tamers-based fic with refs to seasons 1, 2, and 3 as well as the WonderSwan games.
1. Return

**A****uthor's Note: This takes place about five years after Tamers and is from Ryo's point of view. To understand this, you'll probably need to have at least a brief understanding of the first three seasons. You will also need to understand the occurrences of the Ryo-based WonderSwan games. If you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, I suggest quickly skimming over his wikia page and maybe a few others (.com/wiki/Ryo_Akiyama ). If there are any questions, suggestions, or thoughts please review and I would be happy to clear things up, etc. Any comments or reviews are most welcome. Enjoy!**

**PS. If the text has looked funny recently, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. **

A painful picture that I can't forget  
Now what I see is what I get  
It's too late to look back  
I've got no way to switchback

-Switchback by Celldweller

"_Next stop, Shinjuku Station." _

Ryo Akiyama sighed, staring down at his MP3 player as it changed to a new song, and got up, preparing to get off the train. It had been five years since the last time he was in Japan and he was a little anxious. He had been trying to keep in contact with everyone, but it was hard when you didn't stay in one place for more than two weeks at a time and refused to carry a cell phone. It was right after Rika's thirteenth birthday that he had left again. It wasn't like he had _wanted _to leave; it was that he _had _to. He had to; to protect everyone. A nightmare from his past had come back to haunt him, and he couldn't let that endanger those he cared for.

The brunette stepped off the train as it reached the platform and frowned slightly, his piercing blue eyes searching the faces around him. He felt like a stranger in his home town, but he knew certain people might recognize him. And that was attention he was not in the mood for. He needed to make sure the coast was clear before he let _anyone _know his location. It was a Digimon he was running from; he didn't want to add humans into the mix unless he was sure that he _could_. He would visit his friends from five years ago, but they didn't need to know the whole truth. No, that would only put them in _more_ danger. Sighing, Ryo walked out of the train station and into the busy streets of West Shinjuku.

"Ryo? Hey! Ryo Akiyama!"

He froze. This is exactly what he didn't need right now. Plastering on a smile, Ryo turned to see Kazu running towards him with a wide grin. "Hey there, Kazu... It's been a while."

"Heck _yeah_ it's been," he said crossing his arms. "Where the hell've you _been _all this time anyway? Without _you _here, we've had to deal with the wrath of Rika _tenfold._" He paused, thinking for a moment. "Does she know you're here?"

Laughing slightly, he shook his head. "No... No one knows yet. Well, except for you now, of course. I...wanted to settle in before I let anyone know."

"Oh, yeah, I totally understand. Still use the same email?" When he received a nod, his smile widened. "Sweet. We should gather up the gang; you know, have a reunion. I'll be sending you an email once I figure things out. Well, I gotta get going sooo... Later!" At that, Kazu ran off before Ryo could even begin to protest.

Unpacking took much longer than it should have. It was probably because much of the time was spent with thoughts of the past and possible future. Ryo had no problem at all navigating the apartment building he was now going to live in, but even so, the land lady had found it necessary to describe every inch of the place in detail. She had also been puzzled and quite curious as to why a smart-looking nineteen-year-old would be out here living on their own and not off to college somewhere.

Nineteen. Was that how old he was? Somehow he felt much, much older. "It's because time flows differently in the Digital World," he clarified to himself as he put the rest of his clothes away. Walking out of his bedroom and out into the main living space of his apartment, he looked around at it carefully as if to take it all in. It had come only semi-furnished and was relatively small compared to the average size, but still it all felt like too much.

Sighing, Ryo walked back into his room and out onto the balcony it connected to, looking down at the city streets three stories below him. This part of the city was generally busy all the time, so he wasn't surprised to see it as crowded as ever. It was a Friday night and they all had places to go. He watched these people go about their business and thought of his friends. Sure, he'd see Takato and the others relatively soon, but what about the other Digidestined he'd befriended long ago? Tai and the other original chosen along with the second generation of kids. And then there was Ken Ichijouji... He and Ken shared a history; one of friendship and betrayal. Light and darkness. Ryo hadn't seen the blue haired boy since he had been planted with the dark seed and sent home from the Digital World to heal.

Of course, he had known about the whole Digimon Kaiser ordeal – no one in the Digital World at the time _didn't_. Though he had been unable to do anything about it at the time and it had gnawed at his conscience non stop until Davis and the other were able to solve the problem. The whole thing was almost amusing to Ryo because that particular struggle had been caused by MaloMyostismon, who had thought since his master seemed to be gone for good, he would be able to use the power of the dark seed to his advantage. He was dead wrong and ultimately failed.

"Ryo... You have a message," came a voice from within his room.

Blinking, he separated himself from his thoughts and walked back into his room, looking down at the open laptop on his desk. A three inch avatar of Monodramon sat at the bottom left corner of the screens desktop, yawning. He pointed up at a 'new message' icon that had appeared above him and said, "It's from Kazu."

Ryo laughed slightly, sitting down at the desk. "That was fast... Did he actually let everyone know?" Clicking on the icon, he quickly went over the message that popped up and gave another short laugh, leaning back in his chair. Apparently Kazu had started telling everyone right after their meeting at the train station. They all seemed thrilled at the thought of having him back... All except Rika, who had not replied to Kazu's email. Ryo smiled to himself, saying, "What a surprise... I knew that she'd be mad at me."

"What's a club?" asked Monodramon, reading over the email as well. "And why does Kazu want you to _hang _there?"

"A club is a public place where people go to eat, drink, and dance. Hanging out is just a way of saying 'spend time'." The purple dragon Digimon gave an understanding 'oh' and Ryo looked to his half empty closet. "A club, huh? What am I supposed to wear to something like that?"

"You've never been to one?"

"Not once.

"You'll think of something." There was a silence of contemplation before Monodramon asked, "Do you think it's safe?"

Ryo let out a heavy sigh, looking up at the ceiling. "I sure as hell hope so... I really hope...that I don't regret coming here..."

"Hey!" shouted an extremely cheerful voice from within the club. "Hey, there you are, slowpoke! What took you so long?"

Walking into the club, Ryo looked towards the voice and saw Jeri standing by a table not too far from the entrance. He put on a smile and made his way over, taking in his surroundings as usual. The place had a very old, yet new feel to it; as if it had been around for quite some time but was more popular with the younger generations. The walls were littered with pieces of art donated or up for sale from local rising artists and the dimness of it all was washed away by hundreds of brightly colored lights dancing about. It was rather large and had clusters of tables surrounding a dance floor in the center. There were second floor balconies that were probably reserved for separate parties and went completely unheard to those below over the load music coming from large speakers in the corners and panels of the ceiling. Ryo looked back at Jeri as she waved him over and pulled out a chair for him. He sat down as the others greeted him and noticed another empty chair at the table. "I guess she didn't come, huh?"

"She's just mad, as usual..." said Takato, laughing slightly. "I'm sure she'll get over it eventually."

"I can understand why she's mad though," commented Henry, taking a sip of his drink. "I mean it's been, what, five years and none of us have really had much contact with you at all."

"Yeah..." Ryo stared into his glass as the waitress came by and filled it with ice water. "Sorry about that. It's a little hard to keep in good contact with all the traveling that I do..."

"_And _the fact that you don't have a _cell phone._" mentioned Kazu with a grin, his mouth half full. "You don't like phones and you never stay put. You are one weird dude, you know that?"

He laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, I know."

"Akiyama!"

"Oh no..." Kenta shuddered, seeming to shrink in his chair. "Duck and cover."

Ryo looked to the source of the voice and literally had to duck to dodge getting punched in the face.

"What the hell are you doing here, Ryo?" Rika scowled, bringing her fist back for another swing. "You're gone for _years _and you suddenly appear out of nowhere without any explanation or _warning?_ You're _unbelievable_!"

He caught her next punch, frowning. "Would you calm down please? I have my reasons, you know."

"Yeah, like _what_?"

Sighing, Ryo glanced at the others before looking back at Rika. "Can we talk _outside_ please?" Receiving a glare and a nod, he sighed, getting up and headed for the door, Rika following. Once outside, he turned to stop in an alley next the club and looked around to make sure no one else happened to be in hearing range. Rika stood across from him and leaned against the alley wall, crossing her arms. Ryo frowned, sighing. "I'm sorry...that it's been so long. It's been hard to come back or even keep in contact. I had to make sure it was safe. And not just safe for me, but for you guys as well."

She frowned, unimpressed. "So you're running from what, another Digimon? I doubt it's anything we couldn't _handle._"

"It's more than _just another Digimon_, Rika. He's..." Ryo's eyes widened as he looked across the street to a television store, the screens flickering a message when they shouldn't be.

Rika followed his gaze and her frown deepened. "What the hell is _that..._"

Across the clustered screens, a message that read 'I found you...' scrolled across over and over, the image of something like a two-headed dragon flickering in the background. Ryo swallowed hard, and looked back at her. "_That_ is what I've been running from..."


	2. Regret

**Author's Note: NNNGH..! Sorry this took so long. I haven't written anything in a while. So here we go. Some explanations in this one. **

"What the hell is going on, Ryo?" Rika asked angrily as she followed him down the street. He had apologized to the others for having to cut their evening short, telling them that urgent matters had come up. But Rika wasn't going to leave him alone until she got some answers. "What _was_ that?"

"It was nothing."

"_Nothing!? _There's no way that was nothing. You don't react to _nothing _like that. Dammit, Ryo, you just got back and already you're running away. You're being a _coward._" She glared at him. "I'm starting to wonder just how much of you is a _lie._"

Ryo stopped, silent for a moment, causing the red-headed girl to halt as well. "Fine. You want the truth, Rika? You want to know _why _I run away?" His frown deepened as he continued to look away. "Because everyone I care about who has gotten close to this has either gotten hurt or _died. _Friends...family... So, sorry if that makes me a _coward._"

There was a long, awkward silence that passed between them, but eventually, Rika frowned. "Maybe not a coward, but definitely an idiot." Ryo turned around, but she got him off before he could comment, glaring him down. "Sure, I get that you want to _protect_ everyone and all, or whatever, but do you really think running away and keeping this from us is going to _help_? That's just going to make us need to know even more. It'll make us want to _help _more. You can't keep pushing us away, Ryo."

He stared at Rika as she grumbled on about sounding like Takato. A small smile crept along his features and he laughed, causing the girl to stop and look over. "Thank you."

Rika gave a small scoff and was about to say something else when a loud screech and crash came from the street over. The temperature seemed to drop as shouts and screams erupted, causing Ryo to run off in that direction, Rika following close behind. Getting to the nearest intersection, he stopped, looking out at the carnage that had so suddenly unfolded. Someone was shouting about the stoplights going haywire, causing a pileup. Others were screaming, shouting, rushing around, trying to help. Many were hurt.

Wincing, Ryo put his hands to his head as a searing pain suddenly entered his psyche. _~This is only the beginning, beloved.~ _

"Ryo, what's wrong?" Rika asked, staring at him.

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts, looking around as he heard his name again. "Ryo! Rika!" Turning to his right, he saw Henry and Kazu running towards them with worried expressions.

"Are you guys alright?" asked Kazu, looking them over and receiving two nods. "It's crazy around here! All of the lights and stuff suddenly went wonky!"

Rika shook her head and looked at Henry, noticing his deep frown as he watched Ryo, who was staring off into the chaos. "Henry, what's going on?"

"Jeri's hurt. She was hit by one of the cars that lost control." Ryo looked at him, his eyes widening slightly. "Takato and Kenta went with her to the hospital." Rika gave a quiet 'oh no' as the half Chinese boy continued to watch Ryo closely. "Do you _know _something about this?"

"Whaaaat?" questioned Kazu, raising his eyebrows as Henry. "Why would Ryo know anything about the _street lights_? You wouldn't know anything, right?" He looked at Rup and stopped, seeing the boy's expression. "Hey..."

"I didn't think...that anything like this would happen..." Ryo began with a deep frown. "At least not so soon. You've all been wondering why I left; why I _always _leave? This is why. My presence brings disaster to those around me..."

"But...why?"

Ryo sighed, shaking his head. "Sometimes the past...doesn't let you go..."

Henry frowned slightly. "The past, huh?"

"Yeah..." Ryo muttered, looking out into the wreckage. "And it looks like I've made another mistake by coming back here. I've put you all in danger..."

Watching him with a grim expression, Henry shook his head, sighing. "Seems like it. But I doubt leaving now would help anything. Whatever you brought with you is _here _now and you've got to deal with it.

Kazu stared at the other two boys, hesitant to say anything. "The others are going to want to know what's going on... Heck, _I _want to know what's going on!"

"Let's all go to the hospital and see how Jeri's doing," Henry started, thinking. "Then we can _all _here the story."

Jeri was fine. She managed to move out of the way of the car enough so that only her arm was broken. Even with her new cast, her cheerfulness didn't falter. "I don't blame_ you_, Ryo." The brunette girl said with a smile after given a brief explanation of the situation. "After all, it wasn't _you _driving the car. And you really had no way of knowing something like this would even _happen_. So don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

Ryo nodded slightly, thanking her for her kindness. They were all gathered in Jeri's hospital room (her mother had insisted on her staying the night, just in case), anxiously awaiting the boy's full explanation.

"Right..." He let out a sigh, sitting in a chair by one of he corners so everyone could hear. "It all started eight years ago, when I was first summoned to the digital world... I assume you all know the story of Tai and the other Chosen?"

"I think he might have gone by another name," Kenta started quietly, "but yeah. Of course we have. Their adventures are the base of all the games."

"Yeah, though they aren't just fictional stories," Ryo continued, nodding his head. "You all know, then, about their battles with the Dark Masters. Well, at least you have a good idea. I was brought into the picture when they were brought back to _life._ I was told that I was the only one who could save them, though I wasn't given a very good reason why, then..." Ryo frowned slightly, remembering how he has so naively placed his hands on Tai's digivice to be brought to the digital world.

Kazu nodded, crossing his arms. "So you were like the Obi-Wan Kenobi of the digital world?"

He gave a short laugh. "I guess you could put it like that. One thing I didn't understand though is, I was told by Gennai – who's technically the guide of the digital world as well as the one who created the crests and thought of the idea of the Digidestined in the first place – that I myself wasn't one of the chosen, since I didn't seem to have a digivice or partner of my own. Even still, I went along with it because I wanted to help. I traveled with Agumon and other Digimon we made friends with along the way, fighting our way through the Dark Masters and their minions. Even as I saved Tai and the others, none of them exactly helped me. They just told me to keep on going. It was kind of strange to think that I became closer to the Digimon than my human counterparts..." He shook his head, continuing. "We were then faced with the one who started it all. His name is Millenniummon, and once we defeated him, we thought it was all over. I didn't hear from Tai and the others much until that summer when a friend of mine – Ken Ichijouji, who's another Digidestined – witnessed their battle with Diaboromon over the internet. That was the world-wide virus of the summer of 2000. After their battle was over, it seemed that there was still one copy of Diaboromon left and Ken and I were brought to the digital world once again. It turned out it was a fake created to lure me back by Millenniummon, who was somehow still alive. It was during this second round of battles with him that I started to suspect something was wrong. First, it was his attitude. He remained cold and cruel to Ken, but...started to act more welcoming towards me. And then it was that the only thing that would open the door to his world was a Digi-Egg that only reacted to _me... _The Digi-Egg of Desire." He shook his head; it seemed even more farfetched when he said it aloud. "He welcomed me warmly into that world of his..." He sighed. "And when we finally defeated him again, he said he would never die. He said...as _my_ power is eternal...so is his... As his body died...he let out these dark seeds meant for me... Ken pushed me out of the way and got one in the neck. It's because of that that he eventually became the Digimon Kaiser..."

"You mean the Evil Digimon Emperor..?" Takato asked quietly. "He was your friend..? That's so sad..."

Ryo gave a small, sad smile. "Yeah... Though I'm sure he's fine now." He shook his head. "Anyway... It was the dark seed that made him ill and formed that sick persona in his head... While he was sick in bed, I was pulled back into the digital world to compete in this fake tournament of tamers and Chosen... I was told that they needed my help again, and of course I was weary of it, because they seemed to only _'need' _me when Millenniummon was causing trouble and that apparently, I still wasn't a Chosen. I still had no partner of my own. It was totally weird and didn't make sense, but I still wanted to help... The story was that three of the Holy Beasts had become corrupted and each wanted the digital world for themselves and that the tournament was to find the strongest of the children and partner them up with the remaining Holy Beast to fight the others and bring them to their senses. Well, that was all a load of crap. In the end, they had already planned on me winning the competition. As I had thought, it was Millenniummon. Again. The whole tournament thing was just their way of training me to fight him again. Tai and the others apologized, but..." He shook his head, continuing. "I went on to face him. Since his body had been destroyed, he now appeared as his spirit encased inside a crystal. He told me...that we were two halves of one whole. A yin and yang..." He paused, recalling the event. "Then the world exploded. He...took me somewhere..." Ryo shook his head, having difficulty remembering. "I ended up in the past, when the digital world was new. That's where I met Monodramon. I also learned of the digital world's creation and how it's made of multiple realities... I assume that's how Tai's journey became a _game _here. This world...and that world were different in a way. But it seems like they've slowly merged with each other over time. Sometime during all that, Millenniummon was able to evolve yet again into an even more powerful form. He started traversing the various times and realities, attempting to alter them enough to erase all resistance he faced in the present... When I was able to confront him again, I learned that he was...supposedly my _true _partner. The reason everyone had been telling me that I really wasn't a chosen was because of him..." He paused once more, swallowing a bit hard, feeling guilty. "Monodramon and Millenniummon fought over who was to be my partner and that was when Monodramon forced a DNA evolution between them... That's why Cyberdramon became the way he was... It was then that I decided to stay in the world of the Tamers and try and help him. Then I met you guys." Ryo let out a heavy sigh, thinking deeply. "I thought his sacrifice would be the end of it, but when Cyberdramon reverted back into Monodramon, I couldn't feel Millenniummon as much anymore... It's like...he was somehow able to detach a part of himself... To free himself. During our battles with the D-Reaper...my mother died of a mysterious illness and my father grew farther away from me, partially blaming me for what had happened. It was right after Rika's birthday party that Millenniummon showed himself to me once more... So...I left... I...didn't want to hurt anyone else..."

The only noise in the room other than the monitors was Jeri, giving a quiet 'oh Ryo'. No one knew what to say.

"So this, uh, Millennium guy..." Kazu started, breaking the silence. "How long've you been running from him?"

Ryo frowned, thinking about it. He knew it'd been a while, but he had never put all the years together. "Well... There were the three years from when I was first brought to the Digital World and these past four years. And then there was the eight years or so I was with Cyberdramon, keeping him as calm as possible. So what's that, fifteen years...?" His voice trailed off at the realization. Had it really been that long?

"Wait." Henry frowned, crossing his arms. "You had been in the Digital world _eight years _before we found you?"

"It was only one year in the real world..."

"How did you _survive?_"

"I guess I managed somehow..." Ryo rested his chin in the palm of his hand, staring off. "Anyway, he's here now. You know, and he _knows _you know, so I doubt that he would leave you alone even if I left again."

"So what?" came Rika's voice from across the room. She was staring right at Ryo, her arms crossed. "We fight. It's nothing new. We'll fight like we always do and kick his ass right back to the Digital World."

He watches Rika for a moment, lost in a solitary thought. It wouldn't be as easy as she seemed to think it would be. Millenniummon was different than any other Digimon they'd fought so far. So much different. But he kept that to himself for the time being and replied with a simple "yeah", looking out the window. Not much else was said after that as the others began making there way out and to their respective homes. They all had some information to digest.

Ryo made his way strait to his room after returning to his apartment, not bothering to eat anything. He wasn't hungry. He plopped himself belly first onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow, letting out a heavy sigh. "It was him, wasn't it?" came a quiet voice from his computer.

"Yeah... Yeah, it was him. Caused a traffic freak out..." He glances over as a thump noise came from that direction. Monodramon had materialized from the computer and was now making his way over to where his tamer lay.

"We'll manage. That's what we do, right?"

Giving a small smile, he nodded, resting his head on the pillow again. He was suddenly overcome by exhaustion and it didn't take him long to fall asleep.

It was a pop in the fire that woke him. Sitting up, he brushed the white sand from his face and hair and gave a wide yawn. Looking around, he squinted his eyes against the light that reflected off the golden gears of the landscape. It had become day time at some point while he was sleeping. A small, sudden pain on his left cheek caused him to cringe slightly, moving a gloved hand up to a small scar under his left eye. He hadn't thought about it in a while.

"Is it hurting you?" Ryo looked across the campfire to where his partner sat, watching him. Or at least he thought he was watching him. It was hard to tell _where _Cyberdramon was looking most of the time since you couldn't see his eyes. It could get creepy at times.

Ryo gave a small, slightly forced smile as he moves his hand away. "A constant reminder, right?" The cybernetic dragon Digimon nodded, giving no other answer. He sighed, looking back out into the distance. He could still remember that day clearly. The day that Monodramon had sacrificed himself and the day he had received that scar.

Millenniummon had him forcedly pinned to the ground, the weight of the Digimon crushingly painful. He had laughed as he made the small incision under the boy's eye, watching him closely. "Let this be a constant reminder to you, beloved, that you will never be rid of me, no matter how you may '_defeat_' me. I will settle for no one other than you." It was then that Monodramon had made the decision to force a merge between himself and the other Digimon.

He hated to admit it, but sometimes it was hard to tell which there was more of; Millenniummon or Monodramon. He could go from loving puppy to killing machine in an instant. He would often find Cyberdramon just _staring _at him at times or would wake up in the middle of the night while being held protectively. It was hard to know _what _to think.

A sudden stop in the gears around him pulled him from his thoughts and causes him to look around. Someone had messed with that clock. There was a rumbling and the ground began to shake, causing a low growl to come from Cyberdramon, bringing him to his feet. "Cyberdramon, calm down." He warned, but the appearance of a large Megadramon had his partner running. Sighing, he got up and followed. He would probably have to use the whip. He hated that thing.

"Kyuubimon!" came a female voice from the fray. Blinking in confusion, Ryo looked on to see a familiar face along with two other boys. _'Humans...' _It had been a very long time since he had seen another human. And to think it would be someone he'd met before. He moved his gaze away from the girl and to the battle, calling a command to his partner. Three humans meant there could be more. It could mean freedom, but it could also mean more to regret.

He would wait and find out.

**There. Tell me what you think. The next chapter might be a bit different.**


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